Such a comment I received from my parent, “what will you get from that?” I don’t know if they ever listen to me or they really just don’t care. It’s always been like this and I’m sick of it all. I just think that it would better be off if I’m away with them. I think I can’t make my own decision whenever I’m inside their household, as their daughter I will have to act a good child but I can’t be like this forever for I do have dreams of my own. Every day of my life it’s always been away from the real world, my social activities have been lessened. How can I act if I’m here, stuck in this four-walled house? I asked myself, could I be productive even if I’m home all the time? I read someone’s line saying, “Go out, you can never be successful if you’re just sitting in your home” It’s always been in my thoughts, since I wrote it down when I read it. You see, I am now in battle between myself for this craving that I wanted to become somebody in my community and explaining to my parents that I need to let go. Letting go from their worries, letting go from their lack of trust from my own abilities and tell them I’m no longer a child that needs to be spoon-fed all the time. I am grateful that they have been like this to me, but my life won’t expand if they always put a border on it.
With my father’s lack of trust, I still think that I owe something from him, he gave me a challenge in life and I’m willing to prove to him that what he thinks about me is the opposite. I have dreams and this time he will be eating his perspective about me. This time I’m living a purposeful life, it may not be big as giving education to the poor children but little by little this purpose will change me. Setting something for myself is a goal I need to achieve even if say’s I have to wash plates every evening.
Thinking of having a purposeful life this 2012, I thought it would be nice if I follow my desires. I have already planned my activities of the year and I think this year would be a great year for me. I am not foretelling myself about what will be ahead of me but I just had a great feeling that I will be living with my dreams after waiting for so many years, after several changes in my life and after believing that I can make my own decisions. The entry of the year for me seems to be fine after all astrological forecast that the ox can be less lucky this year (In my own personal view, this stuff really works)As evidence, I have been writing now a blog about personal views and experiences and lessons from them. Hoping that my readers can get inspiration in them, and planning to continue it until I can make it profiteering. For now I just want to express my thoughts and make connections through this blog. Studying, another purpose I need to finish this one is I think will be the stepping stone of a bigger purpose I need to do in my later life.
What purpose would I do today? Thinking more about me this day won’t make me look bad right? After all it’s my life and I will be the one facing the consequences and not them. This could be my resolution for 2012, more about me, more on enriching my personality, improving what skills I have and share it-through blogging. They said that I should not be so sure about my speech and lack in action. I’ve always been like that before and sure was nothing really happened to me. After reading that, I have been avoiding mumbling to anyone, I just stay quiet and think of what I can really do to myself. With this little purpose for myself every day I will be prepared for a greater purpose which will be for everyone and it will no longer for me. Today I’m just preparing myself; what lies ahead is the result of what I am doing today.
Lastly, nothing could be wonderful in life than doing what you like and at the end of the day you realized that you have contributed something to your community or in someone’s’ life-in your own little ways and making an achievement to yourself. Living each day with a purpose is living like Christ.